mzmadmike (mzmadmike) wrote,

  • Location:
  • Mood:
  • Music:

SFWA: Declaring My Candidacy

I have decided to declare my candidacy for SFWA President for the coming year.

I support the Iraqi people. I'm not sure what relation it has to SF, but it's a standard position in politics these days, and I recall a few arguments in these pages over such things. Having been there myself, I'm in a better position to debate the matter, as well as having more war stories to base my fiction on than most of the rest.

Some will say military experience isn't relevant to SFWA, and they're correct. Troops are essentially loyal, disciplined and rational.

You should vote for me, For The Children.

As a dedicated Libertarian I promise to do nothing. It's an easy promise to keep, which means SFWA could set the example for the rest of American politics. You should also consider that if it's humiliating to be ruled, choosing one's master is the ultimate degradation. At least vote for someone who'll bring an element of style to it.

Some of you may recall the previous campaign by that grandstanding hack, John Scalzi. My campaign will have nothing to do with such grandstanding. Unless convenient. I am the non-grandstanding hack!

If you don't vote for me, I won't kill another smurf.

I will do away with the current electoral processes, and appoint officers. Larry Niven will be permanent treasurer, because he has no need of the money. This will prevent any silly issues over embezzlement or misappropriation.

Brad Linaweaver will be my secretary, just because I like the idea of him sitting in front of my desk taking dictation and fetching coffee. Win a Prometheus over me, will he?

As I intend to do nothing, a secretary will be largely redundant. However, I will need a vice president. I recommend you vote for Spider Robinson or James P. Hogan. Lord knows they have plenty of vices between them.

Together, we can usher in a state of change. In fact, I guarantee by the time I'm done, change will be all that remains in your pockets.

Since the current custom is to vote for the lesser evil, I know I have your vote.

Thank you.
Tags: humor, politics, writing
  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded