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Egalitarian Misogynistic Right Wing Liberal Anarchistic Screeds

History

12th October 2007

8:23am: Bush Wins Second Anti-Nobel Prize for Power
With Al Gore's recent sharing of a Nobel Peace Prize, split with a UN committee on anthropogenic global warming, US President GW Bush celebrated his second "they're wetting their pants in irritation" award.

Previously awarded to such losers as Yassir Arafatso, the Nobel "Peace" Prize is recognized world wide as the Special Olympics of political awards.

Rumor has it that Osama bin Laden and Kim Jong Il will share next year's prize, in a repeat of the committee's theory that anyone who's an enemy of Bush supports peace.

When asked how it feels to be such a powerful and influential man, Bush modestly replied, "I respect Al for being dedicated enough to fight global warming with his fleet of SUVs, private plane and energy-wasting mansion. By personally demonstrating the excess of elitism, liberal or conservative, he's drawn attention to this problem in a way no one else could. No one deserves it more."

Al Gore is reportedly burning 19 tons of Jet A to fly out and receive his $750,000 share. He said that he'd, "Likely invest the money in my ARCO stocks, now that they're drilling in the Gulf of Mexico instead of ANWR. Or perhaps I can find a coal mine."

The Nobel Peace Prize is awarded to groups and individuals who help the world in fields other than Chemistry, Physics, Medicine and Literature. Its criteria for award are flexible. This time, they were influenced by pop culture and by response from the Jabbering Lefty, one of the key species in the study of environmental issues.
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